its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
