Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
