You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
