Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
