Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
