why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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