Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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