break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
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Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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