have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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