Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
