If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
