Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
