Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
