He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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