Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
