seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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