it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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