bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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