look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
