Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
