I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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