If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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