"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
