we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
