Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Your cock deserves a montage
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
