she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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