My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
