Fuck appropriateness.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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