I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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