he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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