you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
