I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
