If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm like, not good at living.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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