im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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