I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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