I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
