I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
