The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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