Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize