please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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