Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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