So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
