And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the day after is always just damage control
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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