Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
