I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
