Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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