So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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