One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
