we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
