i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my liver is dry heaving
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
