16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
