apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
