the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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