i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
