My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
