i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize