dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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