are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
