Cold hands, warm shart.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize