I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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