For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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