Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
