Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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