I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
why do cheetos always look like penises
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
