if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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